Thursday, June 16, 2005

Nerd Rap
Shitty HS sports squads have been ripping it up of late. I'd love to go into greater detail about this, but the details are so phenomenal that it would immediately send up red-flags all over the interinternet and set off a chain-reaction that would quickly expose my hidden secret-identity.

I went to a lot of the games, but when the girls recently had a big one down in Shaolin I couldn't go.

Mercedes, a student in my extra-class (the one where we studied the Common Sense tune, "I Used to Love H.E.R.") and a star-athlete, was giving me a hard time about not coming to her game.

"C'mon, Mista, you went to the boys' game. "

"I can't, Mercedes, I'm sorry. It's too far. Don't you have to take a boat to get there or something?"

"Damn, Mista, you grimey. They's a bunch of people goin'. We takin' a bus."

"I know, Mercedes, I know. No really, I've got something to do on Saturday. I'm busy. Believe me I'd like to go."

"You busy? Whatchu gotta do?"

It was at this point that I informed the class that wifey and I were throwing a little dinner party on Saturday night, and I'd need most of the day to prepare.

The kids had fun with this.

"A party? You throwin' a party?" They chuckled for a minute at the thought of me partying, and then a kid named Kelvin delivered this zinger, which set the whole class rolling in uncontrollable fits of gut-busting laughter...

"Yo, at Mr. Babylon's party they gonna be listening to... Common Sense!"

The thought of a bunch of twenty-something white-folks sitting around drinking and listening to Resurrection was apparently the funniest thing these kids had ever heard. I assume they imagined us all high-fiving and head-banging every time someone identified a literary element.

Poor Lonnie Rashied, if he only knew.

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